I always felt different. Different from my peers, different from my family, just different. It wasn’t until I was an adolescent and started maturing that I realized that difference was that I was gay. And being from a rural, small town in Ohio, it certainly wasn’t something I was going to share with anybody.
So, I started drinking alcoholically in high school to quiet these feelings. Quieting such a huge part of who I am was obviously not healthy, physically or mentally. This fueled my alcoholism and it continually progressed to the point that I had a stroke at the age of 32 as a direct result of my addiction. This is the point where a non-addict would probably never touch alcohol again, but I laid in that hospital bed for 6 weeks and thought about nothing but booze. After the stroke, my drinking became very isolated and miserable but I simply blamed it on depression [yes, liquid depression!]
Eventually, I became willing to throw my hands up and surrender. It was just a regular day with my sister when I looked in the mirror and was completely disgusted with what I saw. I walked out of the bathroom and said “let’s go” and we were in the car within thirty minutes heading to a treatment center. That was October 9, 2015 and by the grace of God and the work of a 12-Step Program, I haven’t had the desire to drink since.
Today, on The Sobriety Diaries we share powerful stories of recovery from a queer perspective, mine! We hope to help those who are still struggling and it is incredibly fulfilling and humbling to hear these individuals share their vulnerabilities and I couldn’t be prouder of the show. Recovery is possible, that I’m sure of!